Rise

Over under toppled crumbling

Flesh fractured

Weaving regenerating

Resilience

a wonder a wonder I wonder

Torn asunder fear tears tangle between bramble and weed

Seeds sheltered harbored whole seemingly invincible

Assembling

one by one by one

Making the wreckage weep

The assemblage of me

You keep regenerating

Cell by cell by cell

Watching Trembling

Vibrating heartstrings

Subtly lullabying life

Back to life back to life

The cradle of your will

Rocking gently invisibly

Your determination I ride

Wave by wave by wave

A vessel

You anchor

chained

Link by link by link

Tethering slippery bones

To salty sea

Buoyed by a promise

I'm held

hold here hold here

Safety only ever found in you

My only respite

My home

My heart my heart

It is you

Only you

Always you.

Alone

waking waking awake

Split.jpg

Lebanese Man

Seven days dreaming of you. I kept looking forward - falling back into your hypnotic gaze. Your steady eyes filled with want. Your intent - desire spilling from your every touch. 

Within moments of meeting you, you caught my full attention and held me captive for the night. One night. A night crowd, safety in numbers.  Surrounded. We the scene. They took in our light basked in our glow. 

Sideways glances drank us in. The sight of that moment. That mystical space when love ignites between two and suddenly it feels as if there is only one.  Drinks it in, lap it up.  The craving so great the realization rare.

It's night, the music loud - bar crowded. Through the heavy pulse, I could hear your stillness of hope calling me through. The saying goes "love at first sight." I always wondered the truth of that phrase, until now. 

It was at first glance, that millisecond of a glimmer, shimmering in your eyes. My soul felt the beauty of you, the truth of you, the love that is you. The palpable intensity of us. 

Funny your Phrase, "we should take a break" we had only just met. Where does love go when it takes a break? Where does love go when it finds itself where it should not be?


Seven days counted, each one wishing time to move faster. To see you again. To feel you again. To love you again. Friday came and I went to you as you requested. 


My eyes fumble through lingering bodies. I look up. Balconied you waited. My heart could break from the beauty of you. The unknown world of you. The secret complexity of you.  Breath away, look away, regain composure. 


I wanted to fall into you and never separate. But the heart already measured the distance. We were from two different worlds. Crossing cultures that did not mix well. The heart would know no such boundaries. But the head and world are full of boarders. 


Unfriendly crossings where the other is a stranger in a strange land. Ending before beginning. Arrested by the uncertainty of differences. You can never go back. 


We crossed over anyway. Friday at 8:40. Me late. You waiting. I didn't think you would show. The distance was greater for you. I delayed hoping you were just a one night thing an anomaly of love. I was wrong. 


My questions spilled tears from your eyes. "We should take a break. What do you want?  So many questions from the questioning man." The heaviness of your home weighed in. Retreat.


Your conflicted heart hidden but visible. Culturally unaccepted the romantic notion of love between two men.  Hesitantly you spoke your truth, "I will never be able to be free, I wish you were Lebanese." I wished he was not. 

This is a zoom in on my painting Fight, which is a reimagining of William Bouguereau’s, Dante and Virgil, 1850.  The passion between Dante and Virgil feels apropos to accompany this word work.

This is a zoom in on my painting Fight, which is a reimagining of William Bouguereau’s, Dante and Virgil, 1850.

The passion between Dante and Virgil feels apropos to accompany this word work.

Womb Memories

I stand on the edge. There is the sand, sky, sea and me. Heals sink in with each retracting wave. Pulling me out one grain of sand and salted sea at a time. Clouds shift overhead. The light bright then dim. The silent rhythm of drifting clouds. Accompanied by the arrhythmic percussion of the sea. Ocean crashing into quarts fills my head. 

I inhale tasting the air. Salt. I feel called out - teased. The pull of the tide entices me in. I want to be underneath its power. Tumbled into the breaking apart. Smashing into the earth. Like when I was small. A rag doll caught in a spin cycle. Sand burns and salt tingling bony edges. Delicate flesh brutal water. Air locked lungs. Released. Gasping for life. Feeling so alive. Afraid of what could have been. 

I watch the sea pulling itself together curling up from underneath. Retracting then swirling into a spiraling cone that is tilted onto its side. Spinning forward away from the horizon. Shattering down, spattering into millions of parts. All the same sea. Fallen raindrops held in an orbicular volume.

I feel gravity holding the sea in its place. Each wave resilient against its force. The constant friction, the evaporation, the release, all for the continuance of blue. Glittering faceted light dapples the seemingly calmer waters in the far distance. Arched against a bending line the earth's roundness made visible. The invisible moon tugs. The earth spins. Waves curl. 

I move outward. There is always the chill of wet. Sudden temperature change. Water lapping up against dry skin shocks the senses. Still, I wade forward forcing my way further out. The sea climbing up my body. I know it's power the sea could take me. I focus my breath to quiet the panic, nerve endings screaming, mind racing. The Sea...

I fall. The earth slips out from beneath my feet.  The pull of oceans is strong - hungry like it wants to consume me.  Let go. I give in and float rather than fight.  Toes bob up, out in front of me. Relax into this new body that is not mine. The rhythm rides me, cradled in salt drenched in sunlight. Feeling more whole than I ever do land walking. Must be womb memories.

Me at St.John, Photo by Laura Kliman

Me at St.John, Photo by Laura Kliman

The Last One

Remember

The point of entry

Acknowledgment of equal wanting

The center

The point of departure

It speaks millions of words

It's sound a universal call

A space holder - timekeeper

A point of reference for all eternity

It can mark a beginning with no end

Or it can end at it's beginning

Pairs of lips pressing

The veil lifting

Longed for like hunger

Thirst quenched upon contact

Its power forgot if left undone for too long

It is not sex but can be sensual

Especially when consensual

A stolen one can break your heart wide-open

Like an electrical shock

POP!

You are in the present

Held to the moment

The wonder of it all

For those who happen upon one

Shy upon first sighting

A voyeur in that stolen glance

Passing over eyes upon lips pressing

Memory unraveled

The witness filed with the echo of remembrance

The first last kiss

Last Kiss, a reimagining of  William Frederking  dance photography from 1997.

Last Kiss, a reimagining of William Frederking dance photography from 1997.

Want Wanting

The heart and its' wants

The love that hungers to be given

The held back part kept closed

Half-hearted


Unobtainable unreachable unwanted

Choice eludes the heart

Like a dart tossed - bullseye 

Who knows exactly where it will pierce


The center, off-center, the floor

It might fall, why fall, for what

Can not be had

The heart is not for having we lend it

Out here and there


But what of the taken heart?

The one captured in a glance

Stolen in a first kiss

Hands whose touch holds the key

Helpless that heart is


So rare and always a surprise 

Is it from want of wanting?

The giving in, the letting go

Only to fall - always gravity

The weight, this life, the borders, the planet


The other the taker

He knows how to get

Gives just enough to keep a heart tethered

His intentions clear - to get

Not his hearts' passion

Just what he wants

To be adored is enough for him

Though he collects hearts it's not his want

No, it is the center that he holds

The throne he sits upon

Mastering his universe

King of hearts lover of none


Enough... there is always just enough 

To keep the wanter wanting

Waiting always willing

Hoping he will come

To choose this one

Just once

The one. 

Rain, from Coupling Love is…., The book is available on iBooks. The entire series includes 36 abstract and erotic digital paintings.

Rain, from Coupling Love is…., The book is available on iBooks. The entire series includes 36 abstract and erotic digital paintings.

Warrior Not

Warrior Not

Sand Slipping underfoot.

Heat not normal.

Everything burnt and as far as the eyes can see only the dull repetition of dunes.

It gets in your eyes and into every crevasse of fabric, of flesh.

It crunches between your teeth, the sensation shocks you back to the present.

To Life.

Any sensation besides this baking sun is welcomed.

Single file we march.

In silence.

The walking warrior edge ready for a fight.

The others like me try to hold our bowls in place.

With each slippery step our destiny comes closer.

So far away from home.

What a strange place to meet one’s destiny.

Here is where it will be in this desert.

This desert storm.

Outside myself, I feel a knocking.

It’s my heart.

Beating way too fast and way too loud.

My flesh crawls.

These tiny pebbles of grit grind away at my soul.

Breaking me down.

Flaking my flesh to earth.

Not dead yet and already mother nature is pulling me back to her womb.

What is fear compounded by fear?

Flesh frightened off the bone.

Does a coward know when to run?

Or is he always on the run?

Inside I’m running.

I’m running as fast as I can.

I’m getting my self as far away from here as humanly possible.

Illusions.

Desert illusions, too much heat on the brain.

I’m still here, still marching.

Salt dripping into the edges of my eyes.

Sweat falling in tears rolling out.

Blood will be next, myself or the other.

Blood will come.

Blue-red life pumping out of babes bodies.

We young men, barely not boys.

Who know so little of life prepare to give our own.

Not even full grown.

Boys bodies stop growing at 25.

Me, I’m 19.

Prepared to give my life.

I don’t want to give my life.

I want to live my life.

It is my life.

The only one I get and I’m potentially giving it up.

And if I live what will I look like inside?

What will I feel after killing then living?

Wasn't I just crying, being comforted in my mothers arms.

She held me with such pride on graduation day.

Wasn’t I just a boy running through the streets.

Going nowhere happy to be lost.

I’m not a man yet.

I’m not a warrior.

I’m just this boy whose proportions grew to man size.

But I’ don’t feel like a man.

Will killing an other make me a man?

If I take an others life do I become instant man?

I don’t want to kill.

I don’t want to take what is not mine for the taking.

God this is so fucked up.

I don’t want to give mine and I don’t want to take an others life.

This is hell.

I’m in hell.

Maybe my heart will beat so hard and fast that it will pop out of my chest.

Then I won’t have to kill or be killed.

What I really want is sleep.

I want to practice dreaming.

Dream my way out of this storm of desert.

waisted time.jpg

Was Water

Was Water

Blue, I was blue, all kinds of shades of blue - midnight blue, turquoise, indigo, baby blue, azure, aquamarine, sapphire. I was the space where the edge of the sky and water would meet. The two blues were so similar that at their edges one could not be distinguished from the other.

When going way out, on my lumpy waves, the blackness of the blue so deep, you were certain only monsters lived there. Light disappearing into my depths. The dark night of the day that only the sea had the power to create. Total blackness down in the weightlessness of water. I could take anyone down and hold them unrelenting. I did.

Water, you drank me, bath in me, felt me falling all around you, splash through puddles - saturating ever particle. Water, taken for granted until gone. No water left. The seas emptied out. First rivers ran dry. The earth, a crusty cracked shell. Now, just the memory of blue. With no sea to reflect the sun, the skies turned to a grey amber color. Dull and lifeless all but for the sparks and crackles of static popping into nothingness. The parched earth drank up every drop.

There were rumors of ice beds deep beneath the earth's crust. Cold spots, they were called. But no matter how far the drills drilled the ice could not be reached. The cold felt, but from where it came could not be found. The chill of snow memories lingerd then melted away.

One by one not two by two everything died. Sea creatures drowned to death in toxic air. Plants shriveled up on the vine. Forest fires burned themselves out, along with every other thing in their path. The planet caught fire. From outer space a temporary new sun burning itself out; A falling star stuck.

The smoke from the flames circled the planet sucking up every last drop of rain from the clouds. No more raindrops. Jet-stream stalled and the air stood still. Evaporation ended. Life on earth ended. A dead planet dangling out in space. Like every other lifeless mass held captive in this universe.

If there were still eyes to see, falling upward through the cracked sky the last drop would have been witnessed, dripping into outer-space. The deep black darkness of space where the beautiful blue of home leaked out. One drop at a time.

You went out looking for water, for life on other planets but there was none reachable. Your eyes could only see the distance. A single life span could only reach out so-far in time before expiring. You could imagine it but could not get there. You had faith, but God typical to God self-said nothing. You learned to dream and did so until you realized the dream had become a nightmare.

You inherited the earth then killed it. Or slowly suicided it. All the evidence was there, you choose to ignore facts for fiction. Disregarded science. In the end, you’ll matter not. In all your brilliance you too burnt out, got snuffed out. Sizzled up in flames. Returned to the earth. Your blood drank by stones or seeped to the center of the earth, became the molting inner core.

The earth's axes tilted when the ice caps melted. Gravity shifted too. No tides to turn. Heavy metals bonded together and become stronger and heavier. A samurai would have been in heaven here. Swards that cut through time. If only.

If there are nobody and nothing left then who is penning this and for whom? Posterity, does it matter? Why a story for no ears to fall upon, no eyes to skim the page. A story whose telling could have made a difference? For who? Does it matter? I couldn't say, after all, I'm just a drop.

I’m the drop that got away. Slipped through the crack. Flew out into the universe while the planet burned. I was the mystery of life right in front of your face that you failed to see because you wanted to believe something great - a higher power. Always, you looked out there past the present, for something that was surrounding you in the now. The metaphor was not. The sea inside you was actual, not virtual. You called and sought me out as God but I was only ever water. A drop was all I took and a drop is all it will take. Now I’m a space alien, the blue that filled your veins slippery seeping sideways on a blind course to begin again. Blue, I’ll be blue, all kinds of shades of blue - midnight blue, turquoise, indigo, baby blue, azure, aquamarine, sapphire. Water blue.

IMG_1685.jpeg

Blue Around The Neck

Blue Around The Neck


Death and love and death and love and love and death is all there is holding flesh to bone - bone to breath - to blood.

Words splash out crash out of this inked pen.

Descriptions of ideas, perceptions.

Only known to my insides, known by no others exactly as me or I, them.

Still, communication flows, one to the other, believing that we are understood.

Misunderstood most of the time, time tells.

What was grasped or passed over?

Time tells.

Pressed into, pushed through.

Perseverance.

The constant heart beating repeating always repeating.

Until it does not.

Stoped.

Gone?

Empty?

Why always the black and white of thinking?

The have, the have nots.

What of the middle?

The middle dilutes the senses.

Kills the imagination.

The middle like bland watered down coffee, the caffeine washed away.

Filtered out the buzz.

The kick.

Kicking and screaming.

Fighting.

People fight, constantly battling not in a war but with the impulse to rise.

To climb, to achieve so-called successes.

Become Blue in the caller.

Succumbed to mindless dull labor.

For what, a few dollars to spend on consuming to keep the machine fueled.

To be held down.

Pressed, depressed by invisible hands around the throats of millions.

The 1%.

So small.

Free.

The rest paid slaves.

Working to fill our bellies, roof our heads, fill pockets but not our own, in pursuit of objects, which are supposed to make our lives better, more complete, happy whole.

Working always working 12-14 hour days, two jobs and more a day.

To simply survive, to feed the machine, to employ the wealthy with all their riches - earned off the backs of cheap labor.

Paid slaves. No rest

The option to bow out, not permitted on these premises.

We must all earn our keep.

Keep on keeping on.

Immobilized by survival, left empty after labor.

The body so depleted of energy can’t even fight or care to question.

Just    get    by,    live    then    die. 

Try to love in-between. 

Town/Bar Scene

Town/Bar Scene 


Dwindling and diminishing

The art of disappearing

Becoming the invisible

Time wickedly taking


Faking a lived life

Passed from moment to moment

Disguised by dreams

Fancy flesh decaying


Staying always staying

secretly separating

Fracturing frequently

Keeping slowly seeping


Drip drop plop

tuck and roll

Dive under

Asunder hunker


Crazy cool and collected

Deception drinking down

Sucking down 

Going Down


Towns’ tide pulling

drooling dancers

Decked out falling out

Standing Inverting


Inhaling dust driven

Hot wheel spinning

Hold it Hold it

Inn


No breath tasted

Tested Positive

Lost love

And quit


Pretending the pretender

Libation lubricated

Sent sailing

Salty dogs sipping


Nipping heals run

Sun collapsing

Slanted eyes peeping

Shadows gravity keeping


The by and by

Between now and then

This thought that action

Protraction

Sip slip slide

Condensation collecting

Pushed in pulled out

Lip Locked


Craving connection

Dazzling deception

Space place holding

Dashed away

Trashed anyway

Everyday dreaming

Delinquent Desire

Aspire acquire


Rigorous of heart

A dense mind

Thick with wonder

Ravenous hunger


Fed shit for so long

Sang the song

Knew the tune

Hummed hammered headed


Beat by beat

The tip cracked

Lashed slashed severed

Unstitched the seam


Spilled out

Frills not included

Thrills

Fool-fill fulfilled


Tip top 

To the brim

Rims edge soft

Lips pucker


Rosewater 

Fragrance the stench

Death dangled there

Linking the chain

Knott dully noted

Exasperated per pushing

Tired tears

Rest resenting rain


Clouds puff out

Perfectly blocking

Twinkles dashing

Harassing the night

Flight who flew

Buffalo stew stowed away

Kept Quiet

Quivering on a vibration


Delicately dusted

Tattooed moth

Clinging to his throat

A goat groaned


Hush little hurricane 

Don’t you cry

You’ll die 

Dead too


The darkness always coming up 

summing up the totality 

The sum of all these parts

Dart dangerously close

 

The Invisible Behind Transparent (a dystopian word work)

The Invisible Behind Transparent (a dystopian word work)

I’ve found God

Clear and life-giving

Life-sustaining

Recycling consistently

Flowing, falling, dripping

Evaporating raining down

Clouding up in cumulous clouds

Trapped by atmosphere

Forced into a constant state

Held spherically in place

God trapped on a planet

Particles we slithered out of

Crawled out of God

Teardrop like leaking from rimmed eyes

No intention and catastrophic 

We became

God surrounded the planet 

We floated, damed up, built levies

Re-directed rivers, captured in rain barrels

Always the idea of controlling - containing

Defining, claiming, directing

Each clan of humans using God up

Drinking God down as a singular

Touching God being bathed in God

We have taken God into our collective bodies

God courses through our blood

God is blood

God is in a constant state

Or, transformation ever evaporating

Forever moving from here to there

Transported in jet-streams

Free passage

Scattered continent to continent we populated, we polluted

Cracked open a hole in the atmosphere 

God is leaking out

One molecule at a time

Dripping into outer space

God finally free

No time, any time, all-time erased

Never was time

Drought

Thirst

Life evaporated - God gone…

Seeking God to be set free, to be forgiven

We capture, we kill, all in the name of God

God is not dead, God is departing on starlight

Through a hole in the sky, we created

We have set God-free

Finally free, it only took billions of years

God as a space traveler

Astronaut drip drop

Imagine an invisible stream

Flowing up and out away from the earth

God seeping through a cracked sky

If only we had known sooner

That we had been tasting God

That we had God in us

All the time

There was no need for acceptance of, or repentance of, or to receive his love

God flowed through our veins, through our pipes in our homes

In the seas with sunken battle ships

God surrounded the planet in blue

God is not the wind we can’t see but feel, or the color of water

God is not the abstraction of transparency

God is the water that we polluted until undrinkable

That evaporated through the atmosphere, which we broke

An opening was made

God flowed upward and out

Until there was none

No drinkable water

Our end

But not God

God is a martian heading to a new home

We will remain here fighting over water

Dying of thirst

All in the name of God

I discovered God and God was water.

Waiting

Clumsy elegance

Makes shapes misplaces

Misshapes the path to becoming

Stumbled upon tumbled

Tripped over tung-tied

Been denied then tried & tried

To hide the empty

Fill up the spaces

Replace all traces

And yet so shallow

Depth delinquent

Tranquil thankful

Gratitude gracefully bowing

Cowing down into

Depth of perception

Depth perception

Cataloged camouflage

Patterns petering out

Summersault insult

Hindering the hindrance

Hydraulic descending

Depending on loves loss

The consistency of empty

Particles bounce off the echo

Tremors wake the quaking

Pinned down the sound

Hallowed out the whole

Sum of all parts

Dart delinquently

No care no affair

Eyes stare empty windowed

Trance, sleep or death

Distance keeps growing

Knowing only its end

Suspended disbelief

Keep keep keeps

Repeats thub-dub thub-dub thub-dub

Rubbing hands

Anxiously scratching

Invisible itch

There in the ditch flickers

Evidence of light

Insight in sight

Toes tapping their morse code

... --- ... --- ...

...---...---...---

...--

No calling out

No falling out

Only soft sequencing

Life preserver lost at sea long ago

Memory remembers remembrance

Wet and warm on edges of mouths

Teardrop dripped

Sipped in

Swallowed

Salty sea outside taffy pulled apart

Thick Fog

Soggy socks squish

Tide turns moon full

Glowing third eye

Haloed edge glimmers

Shimmer translucent pink-orange

Waiting

Who sees the watcher

Oh soul where did you go

Slipped sideways and spent

Slumped over seated sloppily

Frumpy forbidden fabric

Kling to the sweat

Sticking in the creases

Decrease with each rise and fall

Appalled stalled

Balled stoned hard

Heavy hatred keeps coming

Riotous crowd collecting

Intersecting gridlocked and gagged

Tagged quick scribble

Named numb dumb

Cast away kicked to the ditch

Stitched together rag-doll

Buttoned eyed

Coin covers mouth

Change clinking casually pocketed

Weighing down the sound

Said listen

Hush keep quiet

Feel the silence

Drink it in

Keep it within

Nurture the hazardous lost

Nuclear reactor fuel

Tsunami came crashing

Where did it go

How did it come

It's dripping to the core

What's in store

Imagine look

Visions rise

Tides demise

Done to come

Better run run run

Here comes the sun

Sum of all parts

Came apart

Edges collect expand and explode

Black hole sucks

Flickers ignite

Pulled inward collapsed

Star once was

Once was soul

Once was flesh

Once was thinking

Once was feeling

Once was being

Once upon a time

Story starts

Ends before beginning

Laughter crashes down

Upon time

On time

In time

Real-time

Lost the fight

Gave in

Took off the gloves

Received the blows

Cold stone hand

Hit beat crushed

Broke the bones

Funny girl flipped

Olive pit cracked a tooth

Dental damage

Clipped chipped chapped

Buzzed the bee by

On the by and by

Where to land can't

Stand the sand

Quick stall

Glide then fall

Save the fuel for landing

Directions left out this part

How to crash

Improvise cool headed

Heavy-hearted

The weight of soullessness

Crashed upon the rocks

Plucked feather by feather

Chicken man

White toast tower

Holder of nothingness

Impossibility probable

Immobilized inertia

Totaling up

Measuring the losses

Memory unstable

Selective recall

Light seeking missile

Pierced heart

Tong jeweled

Kisses forgotten

Gazed into

Nothing returns

The same - Illusion

Need or share

Overeat then repeat

Tastes crunchy

Sunshine like mouthed

Edges turned upward

Caveman crawled out

Concurred and killed

Flew to the moon

Colonized Mars in movies

Death star we made

Traded excess for life

Broke the ozone

Cancer filled air

Lethal light

Denied it all along

Sang the song

We all hummed along

How do it go

Buy buy miss American pie

Nonsense apple eyed

Bullshit driven humanity

Sappy credentials

Disproportionate parts

Equal equality

The sequel

Wash rinse then repeat

Have a drink

Harness the beast

Whispering deaths breath

Worm discomfort

Beads of sweat

Scent of loves lust

Grey impenetrable clouds

Withholding wet

Crept tip-toed

Hush Hush

It won't be alright

Deliriously delusional

Twirl dervishly dancing

Skirt rippling

Suit clenching

Necktie strangling

Rope in the tree

Hope fell out knees

Crow clucked

Sucked all the air in

Then dove under

Swam halfway

Got to the middle

Out of breath

Made a promise

Kept on keeping

Exhaling only ever

Forgetting to remember

What did you say

Please stay

I did

Zombieness became me

Quit quarreling

Gave in

Let go

Joined the show

Played the part

Sat in the dark

Felt the potential

Addled brain pain

Drained dull delinquent

Missing gone missing

Small triangulations

Slice in a line

Black races away

Vanishing points of feathers

Pulling the space

Distancing dashes

Disintegrating clashes

Thrashes diligently darling

Linguist textism

Talking stalking

Minimal expression

Tension gaze lost

Held focused

On the other

Nuanced never was

Forever because

Floor fell out

Buckled underneath

Tension rods twang

Strain silver sap

Iron gold brass bronze

Solid liquids

Salivating marigolds

Cold coming

Drumming up a storm

Rain dance trance

Acid falls

Water calls lost

Constant supply dry

Drugged up down

Plowed empty seeds

Harvest hunt gather

Build collapses

King Queen

The people

Forgotten forgetting

Dismemberment ghost sensation

Heat once was

Beating repeating

Rapturous wrinkles

Time out

In time

In two time

Into time

Blind is always forward

Back attaches from all sides

Hesitation hurried away

No place to stay

Home gone

Into the asphalt

Summersault into splits

Kick - ball - chain

Sustain suspension

Chronic crush

Catastrophe keeping

Silently weeping

Harness the hollow

Swallow hard

Hope flew away

It dashed away black

Back to the sun

Silhouetted sideways

Plays tricks

For kicks

For kids

Four cats calling

Heat missile seeking

Howling starlight

Sparkling too white teeth

Botoxed baby

Plastic plasticized

Memorized frozen old

Cold bold cracked

Crooked kid

Thief of hats

Harborer of humility

Waist waisted

Breath blue

Stale bread

Crust crisscrossed the plate

Still ate

Gorged gallows

Booty filled

Bountiful jewels

Nice boy

Toys tantalize

Bad girl

Swirl twirl baton

Redheaded wonder

Wonderer traveled

Crossed the sea

Walls went up

Boarders collided

Washed up upon the shore

Babe immigrant

Crossed over

Underwater

Cradled gently

Gone sang the seagulls

Short attention span

Held momentarily

Then forgotten

Migrate might

Be great

Freedoms wait

Castrated cow

Fell down

Knees buckled

Slaughtered pigs

Begin end

Screening murder

The crows flew back

Witnesses watched

Flocked fast

Get past

Away gone

Shadows fenced

No sun to cast

What part worth playing

Don't know

Never Knew

Fell off the stool

Laughed grounded

Like ice

Slipped under

Crashed hard

Pain echoed bones

The dream woke up

To this?

Request sleeps return

Funny gait

Toed in

Snowed in

Flew in

Dropped by

Unannounced visitor

Stranger arched by doorway

Haloed by wood beams

The scent of pine

Needles crushed

Underfoot

Sap stuck

Sickly sticking stinking

Skunk junk

Plastered pen pointed...

Magic Making

I watched once the making of magic

The sound of it came tapping at my dreams

I tiptoed to the rhythm

Peeking through a slice of light

She stood with a force that could silence the sea

Black fabric ragdoll pierced over and over

Metal to wood again and again

My heart swirled adrift in her sea

I so small she at least fifty foot tall

My shadow and I disappear into the darkness frozen

Grandmother in her secrets room releasing life

Belly split open top to bottom

Hidden I watched as all the world spilled forth from the ragdoll wound

Dreadlocks the color of earth danced upon her head

As she sang into the world the creation of green and red

Complements pulled from her caldron of rusting nails bones and blood

The spell dangled from her tong just out of ears reach

Loud enough for me to know to go

Retracing my steps from memory

Slipping back between sheets

Sleep replaced by wonder dreams of magic awakened me

My grandmother the witch, me her boy in between

Her magic my protection meant only for the two of us to see

I watched once the making of magic

My life, the dream that is dreaming me.

Drought

Drought

Dying, dying of thirst

Mouth patched

Skin cracked

Fissure and crevices

Open up

Carving the whole

Space into pieces

Pulled apart

Ripped from edge

To edge

Contracting

To no place

Shrinking longitudinally

Zig-zagging

Across planes

In search of a wetness

That could pull

Side to side

To center

Heal the wounds

Burrowing the burning sky

Where it should not see

Crumbling

Bits and pieces

Parched planet

Swirl and collide

Turning into dust

Powdering the air

Draining out any last bit of moisture

Covered, covered completely

A shell

Drenched

In dying up, drying up

Dandelion yellowing carbon confetti

Ashing the sky

Grey orange

Sickly sticking to the static

Crackling air

Pops and sparkles

As it burns itself out

The nothingness

Holds still

In remembrance

Of water.

Storm

Storm

In no hurry to go nowhere

Sudden stop rains drop and drop

Concrete slab sat

Windblown bits of rain stain the page

Wet ink blurred edges

Sky open pounding at the blue above

Behind thunderheads, sun seeps

Creeps there listening

Erratic rhythms splatter against steaming asphalt

Lushly wet flooding falling

Green jumping out of the grey

The lawn laughing lapping it up

Relief from heat

Distant thundering

Flowing draining sucked up

The sky, fallen in chards of weeping indigo

Rumbling tumbling

Echoes reverberate off bending plums of white

All in the distance so near

Sticky dermis moist dewy

Umbrella useless against torrential waters

Pouring down fumbling around

Drowning out the silence

Silver light filling up everything

One

One (for our Father)

We are but one come framed by bone and cloaked in flesh.

Seemingly singular inexplicably connected to the infante.

The past, present and future collapse into a singularity composing a life - a lived life.

Upon which one's heart always gives all that it has got.

Beat after beat reminding the body to breathe in and out.

The invisible air - God's breath fueling our every act.

Rising and falling, good or bad, abandoned or held tight all do this becoming.

Suffering either brutally or gently is the way we find soul.

While in the mindfulness of grace the beauty of the temporary is revealed.

Fear falls away and we expand consciousness, literally growing.

Closer and closer we move towards the light from which we had forgotten we had come.

All knowing fragmenting and fracturing, unbound by laws, awaiting our want ready to give.

These bodies are receivers taking in to output.

The fathers' seed plants within the womb of the mother and what was one cell divides into two and so on and so forth.

Energy building upon energy.

Light invisible to the naked eye perfectly forms the child.

Half of each parent embodied in a new one.

The baby breathes in, I am alive, the baby breathes out, I will die.

The contract of life is written in breath.

The duration of a life always perfectly timed.

At ones, physical end hearts will break lamenting the illusion of loss.

Forgiving.

Forgetting the invisible, the light that no soul could ever be separate from.

The spark from which we were made adds to the omniscient light that can not and will not ever burn out.

The heart will retire from its unrelenting job.

The last breath exhaled.

Our light returns to the light from which it had never left.

The veil lifted.

The illusion gone.

I am you.

You are me.

We are but one.

Eternally one.

Farewell Father.

Farewell.

Backyard

A soft gentle cool breeze whispers around quiet awakening green

The sound of so many birds singing abounds

Tall trees aged and growing whined around still overcast skies

The sun rising over the front side of the house

The backside shaded for now it is morning

An edge of light aligns with the back fence 23 paces from where I sit

The shade creeps towards me

Hal’s Bleeding Hearts red and white blossom to my right

A fire pit of his brick collection is buried a bit offset to the left 

Tree stumps surround the fire pit each sawed off top colored different

A pair of hammock like swings sway from high branches

Clover in bundles dapple the Orlando sandy surface

A large bird of pray rides in circles just below almost clouds

Spanish moss like upside-down hair pieces dangle from sinewy branches

The distant sound of a jet interrupts the nearby sky

A dog frustrated barks at a closed door, but not for long

Fuchsia dots in the distance, maybe bougainvillea

The sun continues to slide towards the shade receding

Mostly green I see including my green shoes

Upon a bright orange round table coffee cup sits

A small white metal vase holds fresh cut bleeding hearts

A trail of oak leaves makes a path across the table top  

Bug spray sits there too, awaiting hungry mosquitoes

Linda’s Chinese lanterns faded swirl from the hibiscus

Beneath the hibiscus sits a small town - Fairy Town to be exact

The hibiscus old and dying its flowers small and few between blooming

Can’t forget the lizards they are everywhere

There is a wooden slatted fence to the left of me

Each post dug by hand by Linda and I

The remainder of the yard is squared off by chainlink

Vines and Ferns weave in and out of the diamond pattern

Spiraling, the lightning struck partially fallen tree grows a giant leafy vine 

The leafs heart shaped and variegated in color

Butter yellow and shimmering green

Sized from dinner plates to giant platters

The largest of the leafs have tears edge to stem like feathers pulled a part

Where the massive tree limb fell from the giant heart leafs now camouflage the wound

A scarf of hearts around a headless set of shoulders

Here comes the ice cream truck 

fa la la la la - la - la - la - la along with a chimed version of Christ The Savior Is Born

Its “Florida” is all that I can say

Most days I see butterflies but not today

Amongst all the glowing green a singular purple flower blooms

Mexican Petunia it’s called 

I only know this because its name sign is buried in the ground beside it

The edge of light that was at the fence line is now my hight away from me 5’9”

The sun moves so fast when you are writing about it

The shifty clouds make the edge of shade fade in and out

The clouds drift and the edge of shade sharpens and creeps towards me

A fine line drawn in the ground cover

Can’t really call it a lawn because there are so many kinds of green stuff growing

Here in the backyard

The full  Sun will find me soon

My coffee has grown tepid

Morning is over

“All is calm all is bright (damn, Ice Cream Truck)”

Circling the sun

Another year begins.