Anthony Gongora

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Anthony Gongora

December 23, 2020

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I went into the words to find me

Lockdown had left me quarantine quiet

Mind saturated stillness

Chitchat silenced

Meditationless

I tried to form a word

Out of the nothingness

Tong stuck to the ruff of my mouth

The N of N-ext stuck there pressing

Locked in suspended lick

Contemplating death

Overlapping dying

By the thousands departed

Concentrated stardust canopy a winter solstice sky

Wondering about northern star appearances

Gazing up drifting away

Still-stuck

Pinhole of light

Layering planets

Overlapping radiation

The words wrapped around me

Tunneled through me

I could taste the longing in them

Hear needled leafs scraping

Juniper scented

Incense crushed

Reaching deeper and deeper

Darkness gaining hope

Tears word filled splashed

Into my alphabet soup

Tepid tomatoey goo

I ate them every way

Every order

New noddle words formed in my mouth

Yet to be defined

Future spillage from a multitude of cutting tongs

Every word lapped up

Slurped down

I cannibalized the collective pain

No time for suffering

When suffering is all that is left

Canceled out

Neutralized

The D of demise tong stuck

Roof of mouth

Pressing back

Equilibrium

Two points balancing

Tottering suspended

Between

Illusion here

Or there

Everywhere

Foot in - out

Nowhere

Contemplating where place went

Couldn’t pay the rent

Drug poisoned innocent

Hevon sent - went

What a time

To go-to words to find me

Dictionaried dreams tangled

Into out of through blood pumping

In the beginning

The A words

Suspended disbelief

Have to have it to follow through

One by one I pronounced each word

A word after A word

Would I ever get to B

C felt an impossible distance to swim

I pondered my density

Would I float filled with every recorded word

Could the singular me contain a colloquy for every word

Their weight

Their lightness

Could language partisan me

Unbalance me

Polarities so reasonable

Always oppositing.

Words don’t care about the other

Or order

Like a wild beast, we bend words to or will

Even when flightless

Spill blood over words

Take and give life for words

language moves forward

Dropping off unpopularized slang

Picking up new

Debating over meaning and point of origin

Words blossom from tilted tongs

Clicking-ticking Trilling-purring

Filling in where words don’t fit

Sounds of birds and beast

Are we so different with our 26 linear sounds

Calibrated to make meaning

Deliver hope

Hopeless pools so deep

Drowning thoughts wading

It's too far

I can’t say the distance

Words fail me

Frail me

Delay me

I went to the word to redefine me

Refine me

Word resigned me

Fired, I fired back

Went up in flames

Disobedience resolves

What remains

Numbness-dumbness

Delinquents to cash in on

Imprisoned

Factories of human flesh for profited

Dumbstruck by the illusion

Repeating and repeating

Changing the word keeping the meaning

Different sameness

Who’s the profiter

Not you not me

Who keeps the keys

Who keeps re-meaning words

The W of W-hite

O-shaped mouth

Beginning with a whisper an exhale

Wwwwooonder

Been too long in the words of pale linament men

Clambering clashing lying to keep their power

Living their meaning

All the Native tongs slashed out of the mouths of babes

Lost forever

What of those unrecorded undictionaried words

Are they not us too

How did I get here

I was only looking for words

Wondering through the words

Lost in the words

Found in the words

Internally it’s all recorded

In cessation

memories

The accumulation of humanity

Reside in my bones wordlessly

Your bones too if you are willing to un-listen

Stories told untruths descriptions of reason

Truth-telling

Rarely near to never

Rising like the sun that does not rise

Rising nevermore never happened

The sun has never-ever-not-ever risen

For Helios

Poetic allowances are made

Licensee these phrases

Copywrite

Profit by selling me

To late

My data has been sold

While tapping out words

Browsing

Dopamine dosing

Getting high on word searches

Overdosing

On love songs

My heart beating

Feeling the notes

Humming the tune

Staying alive

I wonder how many words there are for dancing

Funny how you don’t need words to dance.